I can't eat.

Well, that's not true.

I can eat. I do it almost every day! Good job starting a blog entry with a lie - it's basically clickbait! What I mean by it is that I somehow seem to have lost my ability to eat without making a mess. See here:

When your glasses say you're fifty,

but your eating skills say you're five. 

I see the positive in that perfectly placed little (kinda big, actually) crumb, caught by my glasses instead of plummeting down onto my jeans. What's that, you ask? I don't have to worry about adulting too hard in my day to day life! I am obviously very, very far away from that still.

And if you ever have to walk through a dark forest and need to leave a trail so you can find your way back: gimme a call, I got you.