This morning (-ish) I had a wonderful conversation about work-related things, life-related things, and, very much to my surprise, me-related things. I was surprised, not because we talked about me as a person, but because of 1) how much we talked about me as a person and B) how much I took away from the conversation, in terms about rediscovering myself and properly seeing myself as part of the environment I am currently in. For the first time.
Now, while I obviously hope that I was able to present myself, my ideas, and my various characteristics/skills/experiences in a positive light, showcasing "Isabella, the worker bee" in a way that would make somebody say that, hey, they'd like me to be their worker bee (yes, it was a job interview), there's more to it. I also realized that I want to be my worker bee. This thought is manifesting itself right here, as I type.
I stopped writing on purpose, this time. I felt I had to. I wasn't able to find any way of writing about my "new" life back here in Austria, without potentially offending anybody related to my previous life over on the other side of the Atlantic. I held back on sharing my thoughts and musings with my two readers (thanks, mom and dad), because I couldn't be sure it wouldn't be misunderstood by anyone as me happily shouting about and telling everyone how much better Le Homeland is than Trinidad. That's neither the case nor my motivation behind writing.
I am starting again, though.
I am done protecting other people's toes.
If whoever feels that I am, through this blog, stepping on theirs, please know, that's not what's going on. I have missed writing so much: this outlet I have here to share fun stories from my travels as well as more inside-touchy-feely-whateverness. This is not about you, this is not about "which country is better" - not at all! There's no comparison here, because the situations are so far apart, they haven't even found a connection through that whole six degrees of separation thing.
Life changed my path for me, as it has done a bunch of times in the past. But it's only since today that I'm thinking that, maybe, this abrupt change could, in the long run, be positive. I am finally seeing the move as an opportunity. Took long enough, but here we are: Episode IV, people!
So, yes. I have finally reached the point where I can say I am able (daring, if you will) to write again and I also have things to write about. And if there aren't any (things, that is) then I'll make something happen myself.
And about that conversation today... I do really, really, really want that job. It'd be perfect for me and I truly believe I'd be perfect for it. However, even if the only thing to come of it is that I have found my way back onto this site and my fingers are flying over the keyboard again, spelling out my tangled and random thoughts on life, and I get to regale you with fun or not-so-fun stories, tips and facts about people and places, and just the worst, most terrible puns and jokes this side of the Milky Way... even if that's the only outcome - I already win.
The eagle has landed.