I stepped out of my clothes, stacked everything on a bench, told Batisane see you later.
I have to go right now.
I walked down to the water.
I made contact, carefully, toes only.
Slowly, I walked in.
The waves came crashing in, a little ways out a lone fisherboat crossed the bay.
I stood in the shallow water for a while, letting the sea greet me with the most powerful hugs she knows to give. Waves, that almost knock you down. But just almost.
Further and further in I went, until I was past the waves' breaking point.
Out there, it was calm, tranquil, serene.
The water was the perfect temperature. Not cold, but also not warm. Exactly the temperature it was supposed to be: refreshing but at the same time so soft.
I was too far out to stand then, so I swam instead of walking further.
Then, I just floated.
It was so quiet.
There was only me in the water, nobody else. And a pelican, swooshing and sailing above me. Just the two of us.
I just floated.
The sun was making its way over the hillside to the East of the bay, the sky was growing lighter and the surface of the sea more brilliant by the second. Still no sound at all, aside from the wind around me and my heartbeat inside.
Floating. Weightless. Painless. Free.
This Is The Life I Need.
I want that again. I want that every day.
I can't have that every day, and it's okay.
I am doing great and I will continue to do great, making my way forward.
Enjoying life, enjoying my friends, trying my hardest to succeed.
But a tiny part of me will always be waiting for the moment I go back.