Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Caution, explicit language.

Yes, this one is a rant-post. I'm in a very bad f'cking mood. It's been a shit day. So shit that I'm not even rearranging the letters to make the word less offensive, that's how shit it's been. 

First, I still have this stupid f'cking cold. All I eat and drink at the moment is flu pills and lime water, but did it go away? Did it at least become less? No f'cking way, still here and still making my face f'cking miserable! 

Second, I was supposed to meet up with a CouchSurfer in Castries this afternoon, because I've spent enough time all alone here, I just wanted someone to talk to who's not the person renting me the room or his girlfriend or his cleaning lady. They're all nice enough, but it's not real, because they make money off me, so they don't really care about me. Or, at least, I don't think they do. It's weird enough having to be around them all day every day because I'm still too f'cking sick to go to the beach... And even if I just went down to the village to see if there was any nice place to hang out with local people, there's no point in doing that. Why? Because I'm f'cking tired of being called "white girl" by every-f'cking-body! The next person to make any kind of rude remark to me in the street or anywhere else... especially if they call me "white girl" one more f'cking time... I swear, I'll explode in your f'cking face!!! 

I just wanted half an hour off... 

But no. The bus into Castries, which by the way is 11km from Gros Islet, took over an hour to get there because of some traffic jam and the driver, who I had to sit next to because there was no other space, was an asshole. If I tell you that I can't hear you properly you speak the f'ck up, you don't just f'cking turn away, grunt and ignore me for the rest of the f'cking drive, you asshole! Asshole. Then, when we finally got to Castries I was lucky enough to meet like the only nice person in that whole f'cking town and she took me to the place where I was supposed to meet that CouchSurfer. Very kind of her, seriously, but, alas, it was for naught. I got to the place and there was nobody f'cking there. Yes, I was 15min late because of that stupid-ass bus, but I'd told him that I might be a little late and asked him to be patient. So, instead, I waited for 20min but he never showed up. So I went all the f'cking way down to Castries in a f'cking traffic jam and next to the most un-f'cking-friendly driver on this whole f'cking island for f'cking nothing! 

Can you tell that I'm somewhat angry right now? 

So I went right back to where the buses were, because that place is so small, there's nothing to do whatsoever. Took a bus back to Gros Islet and got off at the Rodney Bay Mall, where I also went the other day to have my coffee and get the meds. I walked all the way down to Reduit Beach, because I felt bad for having forgotten the camera the other day and not being able to show you any pictures of the beach. So, therefore, today I went back to take one for you. 

After taking that picture, I walked back to the mall, because that's where the supermarket is. Got more water and lime and then got a taxi back to the so-called guest house. Where the whole place had been cleaned apart from my f'cking room. After some negotiation, I got the cleaning lady - Delia, who's actually really nice and sweet, but right now, everybody f'cking sucks - to change the sheets on my bed. It's bad enough there are holes in my mosquito net, I don't need ants around me when I sleep. And I don't even know why the f'ck they're there, I have no food in my room. And it's not like I go to sleep f'cking full of breadcrumbs or sugar or whatever the f'ck those bastards eat. I spent an hour last night awake in the middle of the f'cking night, because things were f'cking biting me all over and they wouldn't f'cking go away. I can't f'cking bathe in insect repellent, have the people on this island never heard of f'cking fumigating a room before a new guest arrives??? Oh gods... This whole day was just a huge f'cking waste of time. I might as well have stayed in bed all day, the result would have been the same. The only difference: the f'cking mosquitoes and ants don't call me "white girl" and insult me while they bite... 

So that's where I am now, back up on the hill and with nobody to talk to apart from the few people who are on Skype and aren't yet tired of my bad mood; thank you for being here and being patiend, Béa. 

I'm tired of my bad mood. I'm tired of this place. 

And then I talk to Nella, the girl from the Caribbean Tourist Villa in Port of Spain, on FB and all I can do is wonder... Why aren't all people like her? Nella, if you were here, I'd love the place. It'd have been fun, you'd have told the boss to let Delia do her job even though I only stay for a few days, you'd have known where to meet nice (not racist) locals so as to make friends on the island. 

Because it's not the island's fault, I know that. It's just shit circumstances. 

Well, nothing more to do than to go watch more movies, read more of my books and wait for the night to pass, because in the morning I'm going to Barbados. Which I can only hope will be better than this. At least it's a flat island and there won't be any hills to climb...

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